Stop Asking—the Universe Heard You the First Time
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I was speaking to a coaching client yesterday and we both had such a laugh. She had spent three months asking for one thing from the Universe and was wondering where it was. Well, the act of over-asking is also the act of not having faith.
Let go, my friend. Ask, then go have a great life. It may or may not show up, depending on whether it is the greatest expression of your magnificence. But I can guarantee you that if it doesn’t show up, something better will.
If you have a great life even without what you ask for, you won’t really care that much if it arrives because you aren’t waiting for it to arrive to be happy. You already are.
Jennifer Hough
Smooth Lips!
Filed Under Natural Goddess | Leave a Comment
The change from summer to fall to winter can leave our skin dry, itchy, chapped, and cracked.
The skin on our lips is extra-sensitive as it is thinner than the skin on your arms and legs. Lips can take a beating: burns from coffee, bitten from stress, chemicals in most cosmetics, etc.
• Smooth your lips by first massaging them gently with an extra-soft wet toothbrush for a minute or so.
• Then apply a thick layer of a non-petroleum based lip balms—preferably one made with castor oil, beeswax, cocoa butter, or shea butter.
• On a daily basis, apply a soothing lip balm regularly.
Avoid using harsh cosmetics such as lipsticks containing alcohols, petroluem, antificial fragrances, and dye. In other words, go green with your cosmetics!
Jane Large
Being There
Filed Under Meditation | Leave a Comment
“My heart is ready to break with grief. Stop here, and stay awake with me.”
— Matthew 26:38-39
How difficult it can be to be fully present for another person. In the Gospel story of the events following the Last Supper, while Jesus is experiencing the pain of his unfolding betrayal, he asks the apostles to stay awake with him and pray, but they all fall asleep. He asks them several times to be awake with him, but each time they fall asleep.
It is a touching and telling story of the frailty of these saints, future church fathers, evangelists. Even they had trouble being awake in the presence of another’s pain. It is not unnatural to withdraw our attention when someone is hurting. It is unhelpful, however.
One of the characteristics of an effective counselor is that they stay present in the counseling session. If the therapist’s mind is somewhere else, they are not much help to the client. Similarly, when marriages fail, it is often the case that one or both of the partners has a pattern of withdrawing attention. How often has the marriage counselor heard, “He doesn’t listen to me”?
The emotions of aversion keep us from making contact with people in their need. We may fear that their pain will become our pain. We may fear they will get too close. If they get too close they may see the dark truth about us. They may see our weakness and inadequacy. Instead of getting close, we may become nervous, distracted, bored. We may remember some other pressing commitment that we just have to take care of right now.
Being mentally and emotionally present with another person is one of the best gifts we can give. It is calming and healing. It creates connection and intimacy. It opens emotional doors.
Some rare people are able to be fully present with others quite naturally. Most of us have to develop that capacity. Some of the qualities we need are self awareness, self acceptance, and compassion. The ability to understand and move beyond our aversions comes from self awareness. Compassion grows out of self acceptance. The intention to listen—to be present—grows out of compassion.
These are qualities we can grow in ourselves. Through practice of meditation and mindfulness we can become more self aware. Through self awareness and consciously being kind to ourselves we can become more self accepting. As we work through our distaste for the darkness in our own hearts we become more able to open our hearts to others. When we open our hearts to others we can be with them in their pain and in their joy.
Practice:
Ask yourself:
• What is my fear of closeness?
• If someone gets in close to me what might they find?
• What would they see in my heart if they could look there?
• How do I keep people at a distance?
• Do I get anxious? Bored? Distracted? Sleepy?
Tell yourself:
• I am worth sharing.
• I want people in my life.
• I have gifts to give.
• My full presence is my gift to the one I’m with.
Pray:
Grant that I may live a life of love.
Make me an instrument of kindness.
Open my heart of compassion.
Practice:
• The intention of being mindful.
• The intention of being open.
• The intention of listening carefully.
• Just being there with yourself.
• Just being there with another.
Tom Barrett
Ever Wonder Why Law of Attraction Doesn’t Seem to Be Working for You?
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Ask yourself this: would you ever deliberately do something to put yourself in harm’s way? No, of course not. But do sub-optimal things still happen? Yes, of course.
When sub-optimal things happen, do you ever think “Well, I didn’t ask for this, so what is up? I thought Law of Attraction is how things happened?” Human beings can be a tad ego-centric in assuming that what we think about and consciously put our attention on is what creates our reality. Mostly not.
Your default way of perceiving the world is really running the show. That default position is largely unconsciously oooooozing out of you. Your default position will trump your thoughts, wishes, and positive affirmations every day of the week. So, if you have been trying to “ask for stuff consciously” but you don’t actually believe that you deserve it—or are not worthy of it—it will not happen for you.
Most people wait to observe their circumstances to see what they will then believe. Smart people know that your circumstances only happen the way they happen because of what you believe. Beliefs first, circumstances second.
Your default understanding of yourself overrides your wishes. Mostly what happens is that people use vision boards and mission statements but do not change their default way of understanding life. Then they think that Law of Attraction does not work—when in reality, it is working perfectly. They are just in their own way unconsciously.
Today, observe how life is occurring regarding money, relationships, and career. Then assume that however it is showing up is a direct result of your default position. If you need to change your default position, it will take far more than positive thinking. Just remember, you are an infinite extension of “All That Is.” Do you really need to positive think when you embody magnificence?
Jennifer Hough
How to Fight the Flu
Filed Under Dr. Zoltan Rona (MD) | Leave a Comment
Cough! Hack! Sniffle! It is estimated that at least 50 million people in North America get the flu each year from November to March. Children are two to three times more likely than adults to get sick. More than 100,000 people are hospitalized and at least 20,000 people die from the flu and its complications annually.
The best way to prevent viral illness is to keep healthy by getting enough rest, limiting stress and eating a nutritious, whole-food diet. Wash your hands frequently. If stress and/or sleep are problems, try some 5-HTP (100–200 mg) before bedtime. This increases the level of the relaxing hormone serotonin in the brain and calms the nerves without grogginess.
Making sure the body has an adequate supply of vitamins and minerals can also enhance general good health. Nutrient requirements vary from one individual to the next, but any formula for the immune system should contain vitamin A, beta-carotene (pro-vitamin A), vitamin C, vitamin B6, and zinc. There are formulas available that combine these ingredients with adaptogens (botanicals that help the body combat stress) such as rhodiola, cordyceps, and ginseng.
As a further precaution, take garlic. Garlic is one of the best herbs to boost immunity and fight a long list of deadly microbes.
If, despite all these measures, a cough or cold develops, its duration can be shortened with echinacea and zinc lozenges. Echinacea increases the production of white blood cells and boosts their ability to ward off, surround, and destroy bacteria and viruses. Zinc is essential for the white blood cells to fight a wide range of viral infections. Recent research has shown that the symptoms of colds (cough, fever, and respiratory secretions) can be significantly reduced with zinc lozenges.
Other natural treatments with very effective antiviral activity are wild mountain oregano oil, astragalus, lomatium, bovine colostrum, grapefruit seed extract, and propolis. While some natural healthcare practitioners recommend using one or more of these only during the flu season, they can safely be taken year-round, especially by those with weakened
immunity.
Dr. Zoltan Rona
All About Dandelions—Part 1
Filed Under Herbalist | Leave a Comment
Now that it’s fall, I’m thinking ahead to seeing the bright, yellow dandelions in the spring. What a happy plant! It keeps popping up even when we try to get rid of it because it knows that we need it! Such a hardy plant—it has the ability to make us hardy, too, and able to withstand our polluted environment.
The whole dandelion plant is edible and nutritious. The leaves are more nutritious than spinach and are a digestive bitter. Dandelion is also healing to the body. While the major benefits of the roots are upon the liver and the kidneys, it’s a great tonic for the whole body. Roasted dandelion roots have been used as a coffee substitute and the flowers used to make wine and beer. Talk about your useful plants!
The first mention of the dandelion as a medicine is in the works of the Arabic physicians of the 10th and 11th centuries. Described as a kind of wild endive, it was prescribed to stimulate bile production for liver problems and for its diuretic properties. The folklore of dandelion goes back to Greek mythology. In the Jewish tradition, dandelion was one of the five bitter herbs of Passover mentioned in the Bible.
The word “dandelion” is a Saxon corruption of the Norman term “dent de lion” meaning “tooth of the lion.” This may have been a reference to its serrated leaves.
Dandelions were once very popular. A hundred years ago, France produced seed catalogs that offered five varieties of dandelions. Up until the 1800s, Americans would pull grass from their yards to make room for dandelions and other useful “weeds,” like chickweed, to grow.
More on dandelion in my next blog.
Wendy
A Touch of Compassion
Filed Under Meditation | Leave a Comment
“When your fear touches someone’s pain it becomes pity; when your love touches someone’s pain it becomes compassion.”
— Stephen Levine“To train in compassion, then, is to know all beings are the same and suffer in similar ways, to honor all those who suffer, and to know you are neither separate from nor superior to anyone.”
— Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
What can we do when someone is suffering? What is our response when we know someone is dying? Too often we avert our attention. We become involved in other things. It is easier to stay caught up in busy lives than to reach out to a person in pain, to visit the sick person, to just be with a person who is dying. How many of us have had the intention of visiting an aging or ailing relative or friend, but never quite got around to it, and then they are gone?
What is it that gets in the way of extending ourselves? Fear, perhaps. We may be afraid that we won’t know what to say. Maybe we fear the other person will see the discomfort their misfortune creates in us. Perhaps we are afraid to see the pain in another, lest we have to confront the pain that may await us in similar circumstances.
Succumbing to these fears leads us to avoidance and guilt. Overcoming them may lead to an experience of love and an opportunity to ease another’s pain. Here is a meditation that may help you to be with a sick person in a way that may be useful to both of you.
Sit with the person who is ill. Talk with them for a while, and be ready to sit with them in silence if the opportunity arises. You may even say to them, “I’d just like to sit quietly with you for a while, if that’s all right with you.” Look into their eyes, if their eyes are open. Look at their face. What emotions do you see there? What experience is written on their face? Look at that face as a wonderous representation of a life lived.
If it seems appropriate, take their hand in yours. If you aren’t sure of their response, you may ask them, “May I hold your hand?” Gently hold that hand in yours. Feel the life there. Sense the warmth or coolness. Be aware of their hand in your hand. Let your hands resting together open up a new channel of compassion between you.
Touch base with your heart. What emotions are you having? Look there for the seed of compassion. Let it grow. Let your heart open. Look there for the emotion you may have known in a special moment with a loved one. This is an emotion of comfort and warmth. Feel this warm and comfortable emotion and imagine that it is a brilliant light in your heart.
Let this light grow in your heart. Let it grow so that it fills you up and fills the entire room. Remind yourself that love and compassion are limitless and that they fill the universe.
Imagine that the love of the universe is a light that shines on you and upon the person you are sitting with.
Let the love shower you with light and empower your spirit.
See yourself as a conduit for all the love and compassion in the world, which you channel to this other person.
See the light shining in your heart flowing through you to the other.
Feel the compassion and loving kindness in you and in all the world flowing from you to them. The supply is limitless, so you need not be depleted. Feel your life energy grow as you draw it in from the world. Feel it passing to your companion.
Silently, say to yourself, “May you rest in the light of healing love. May you be free of suffering.” Extend this wish to yourself and to the other person.
Sit this way for several minutes. While you are passing loving energy to your companion, remain aware of their subtle responses to you. Avoid becoming lost in your own process. You are there for them. You are responsive to their needs. You are sensitive to their fatigue and the passage of time. You know when to withdraw and take care to leave before your presence becomes a burden. Yet, you are willing to stay with them in the light of compassion while this seems helpful.
After you have withdrawn, again shower yourself with the light of loving kindness. Release any negativity or pain that you may have encountered, and say to yourself, “I release all pain and unhappiness. May I rest in the light of healing love.”
Tom Barrett
Happy Annoying People (Not You, Of Course!)
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“To a person who is saying yes to things that do not bring them joy, a person who follows their bliss is annoying. The solution, however, is not to control or be mad at the other. The solution is for both to follow their bliss, to sometimes share common experience and figure out how to deal with the house and kids from there.”
— J. Hough
After sharing this quote with a very insightful employee of mine, she said to me, “People in cages sometimes resent those who appear free.” This happens despite the fact that they hold their own key. So true.
Yet this type of upset is entirely unnecessary, of course. The only reason a person who appears free shows up in your life is to give you an example of what you most desire—so you can put some attention on it. Also, it’s so you can notice how close you now are to freedom. You can’t see others as free unless you are mightly close yourself.
Are you “following your bliss,” as Joseph Campbell says? So many people say that they can’t because of their obligations and responsibilities. Most relate to kids, house, job etc. Well, let me share a little secret with you: Your access to freedom (thank goodness) does not depend upon your circumstances changing; it depends on your underlying beliefs, attitudes, and perspectives on your circumstances changing.
Shift happens!
• Kids are obligations if you try to control them and a blessing if you look at them as joy teachers.
• Your job is tough if you look at it as what you do while waiting for the weekend and wonderful if you remember it is your source of friends, money, shelter, food, and a creative outlet.
• Your mate is a pain when you elect yourself GM of the Universe and a blessing when you use them to remind you to follow your bliss.
A few days back we said that “for the joyful, all things appear like sources of joy.” If you would like to change your default position, you are free to choose that!
Jennifer Hough
Commitment: Doing or Trying?
Filed Under The Winner Within | Leave a Comment
There is a very distinct difference in life between setting our mental forces to work on a task or goal from the perspective of doing or trying. Doing is the absolute commitment to succeed. Trying is the beginning of failure.
This understanding of trying versus doing demonstrates the mental challenge to overcome the conditioning of the past, as opposed to the physical challenge of growth. The thief of our mind lies in wait to steal away dreams and progress. Trying creates a benchmark that says, “I will give you this much time to get there and if you don’t, here are some of the reasons why it did not happen.”
It is critical to understand that this “voice” of challenge is not a human flaw that we have personally. It is a flaw of imprinting through life experience. The key is to not allow that door to be opened or for the so-called “logic” of possibilities to creep into the process of commitment.
Knowing this, set your goals with the commitment of doing.
I will achieve my health goal.
I will succeed in my relationship with my children.
I will succeed in my quest for financial success.
I will succeed and travel to that place in the world.
Remove “try” from your mental vocabulary. That simple shift from “try” to “do” builds a wall to block out the thief looking to steal your dreams.
Randy Taylor
Being Frustrated by Someone Else
Filed Under Law of Attraction | Leave a Comment
Was does it mean to truly be free? I think when you are truly free, you just love everyone as they are and as they are not.
You know unconditional love if you have had a baby or a pet. We love with conditions so that we will feel safe, not happy. If you love people as they are and as they are not, that doesn’t mean you have to marry them. It’s not about something being wrong with another; it’s about choosing your life’s playmates based on your preferences.
Most people end up justifying why they leave, divorce, end friendships, etc. by finding reasons for not loving someone. You can love someone just fine and not need to hang out with them. Or you could gossip and complain to yourself or others for a decade. And you can be righteous—you just won’t be happy.
What if we no longer felt the need to justify who we kept in our lives and who we chose not to keep in our lives? What if we simply chose based on what feels best in our hearts, instead of what we thought we should do?
The Universe gave us hearts for a reason: I believe it’s because we were meant to use our hearts to determine a) that we all go through the same struggles and b) some people just aren’t meant to be together. But you don’t have to find every fault with the other person to justify not hanging out with them. Just follow your heart! After all, it is God’s megaphone.
You have a heart to love and to determine which human beings that you love are most suited for you. As Maya Angelou says: “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Now choose which part of humanity you most enjoy interacting with and hang with those people—and love the rest from afar. They are not wrong, they are just not for you.
Jennifer Hough
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