Myths of Motherhood
Filed Under Mom Talk |
At my FITMOM classes, I provide a handout to all moms that focuses on the myths of motherhood. Most moms get a good laugh out of these including, “Having a child brings a couple closer together”, or “Breastfeeding is easy.” One that isn’t a laughing matter to me right now is “parenting gets easier.”
My oldest son is 8 years old and I can attest to the fact that nothing is easy about parenting him. In fact, it’s downright complicated. Perhaps some people have “easy” children or perhaps I’m just not a natural, but I have found with each of my children that parenting gets harder as they get older. My husband and I have signed up for a parenting course. Because I’m ever the skeptic, I’m preparing a list of questions, such as “How do you know YOUR methods work with every child?” and “How do our parenting techniques speak to the cultural differences between me and my partner?”
I feel the “THEYS” of the world (you know, the so-called experts we refer to in the general “they” term) all claim their way is best. To be honest, I can’t stand it. Parenting is more complicated than ever before, and in my opinion, children seem to be going off the rails at an unprecedented rate. In fact, much of my research shows that boys in particular are falling behind in performance due to a variety of reasons.
North American children today have a stronger sense of justice. While in theory this is good, I wonder how this will impact children down the road. I believe that in our desire to empower children, particularly in the school setting, we often end up sending them mixed messages about when they should stand up for themselves versus when they need to respect authority. In my family, we are focusing on getting back to basics, such as teaching our children not to overindulge, to respect everyone (especially your elders), and to understand that we are the parents and decision-makers, not them.
Some of you may have seen the YouTube clip of the woman who created a two-minute song out of all the phrases moms use in a 24-hour period. My favourite of all these phrases is, “BECAUSE I SAID SO.” I think this is a perfectly acceptable answer to a child who keeps asking, “But why, Mommy?” In my opinion, children need to learn that not all topics are up for discussion and that they must follow their parents’ directions. While I’m far from an expert, I’ve worked with enough moms and have read enough to know that doing what “the experts” say is “right” doesn’t always work for every mom. To me this means it’s time to find a new expert!
Cheers,
Andrea Page
